May 16, 2012

Of Things Past.. (or passed?)

Perhaps both?

Past, as in, things that have happened before now, and also passed, as in, time that has passed me by! Yes?, No?, what do you think?

The circle keeps turning and my blogging has still not become the regular habitual thing that I had intended when I began blogging! Life just seems too in the way? Well no not really, I just seem too, I don't want to say depressed, but that is part of it, maybe more... oh fuck it, I can't tell you, I am not a dictionary by any means!
But something is up and I just don't WANT to do, well, anything! But then I want to do things, lots of things, I just can't be bothered!

I had a good day yesterday, I did 4 loads of washing (not even half of it) and spent little time on the computer (compared to what I normally do!) I read some... more on that later! I was feeling pretty good about, well, everything really!

Now today I am back to where I was before! The circle keeps turning!

So I will turn it back in my head a few weeks, and start back there shall I?

After I get myself another cup of tea...

Ok, change that to Hot Chocolate and the left over quiche from dinner last night, because at 12.30pm I still have not eaten today! Took me 2 seconds to decide that I needed the whole thing heated before attempting to eat it and a minute to nuke it until it was less than hot, but not cold!

Time winding.... Except how far back do I go, and how much rambled crap really needs to go on the blog? Seriously?

Ok so, Mother's Day, and the new book I am reading!
I have been a mother for almost 10 years! I have loved and loathed it at different moments, mostly the former, but certainly a little of the latter. I am not by any means a great mother, I really am not sure I am even a good mother, I mean I give my kids what they need and make sure they are healthy, I would say happy but with a 9yo going on 16... she is never happy! There is always something to whine about and if there isn't she will create something! Chances are that I will be the cause of it! That is what mothers are for, right?
So come Mother's Day, a day just like any other, except, I chose to let everything slip aside and let her into the kitchen, with some of her father's help to make me eggs on toast for breakfast, she did 90% of it on her own, without hurting herself and it was pretty tasty. Followed by a visit to the In Laws, and then a child free trip to watch Hubby play hockey. Then back to the in laws for dinner and to collect the children, where my day promptly turned to shit... but you know that is ok too.
My 9yo was busy helping in the kitchen to make the mothers day dinner, and with school the next day it was clear at 8pm with still no dinner it would be a late night. We sat down to dinner at 8.30 and it was about 9.30 when we left.
The kids where very tired but amazing the next morning getting up for school and being ready on time for the bus.

As a mother I need to offer my older child more opportunities to be her own person and take responsibility of more things, I need to trust that she is a capable person and can do it.

And to the presents I received, my darling boy made a lavender bag and a card at school, the big girl did a card on the computer at school also, then hubby went shopping and bought me the book I have longer for since I first knew about it... The Bloggess's (I am not sure that is grammatically correct, and I don't care either!) "Let's Pretend This Never happened" I am thrilled to bits with it and secretly wish I was able to tell a story as well as Jenny! Although fucked up in ways most unbelievable, there is a certain magnificent charm to her, her book and her humour that is quite often a LOL factor in my day!

Then we come to the business factors of life! I have an online market in less than 2 weeks, a huge 2 days festival in 1 month from TODAY! and I am in desperate need of creating and developing and producing enough stock for both! OMG, when you combine that with my absolute ability to be able to sit here and do almost NOTHING all day, most days and allow it all to compile and chip at my head space continuously getting closer and closer and no less work... I am slightly falling apart at the prospect of having it done and ignoring that it needs to be done in an attempt to hold it together which is totally working on the outside, but NOT AT ALL on the inside and I am still getting nothing done! Yay WAY. TO. GO. ME!!!

I have almost 50 crystal pendants to stitch, 27 crystal kits to make up, labels and uses to print out for them all after that. I have candle kits to put together and info sheets to go with those, I have dream pillow designs to draw and then sew and fill with wool and sew again!
I have note book cover to design and make, I have wall hangings that I need to create and on top of all that, a house with a mouse plague that I am failing to clean day in and week out... come the end of June I think it will be time to turn my attentions to what I have to manage outside of the business and get on top of that in time for the Medieval themed Fancy Dress Party we are throwing for our 30th birthdays in July... and I really need to type up a paper invite for that because I have more people to invite than just those on facebook!


  1. If u just do 1 hr a day cleaning something and 1 hr a day creating something you will slowly achieve your goals...and you have 22 hours left to be a mum, wife, computer specialist and blogger, oh and daughter, sister ,auntie,friend and all those other things you are and allways will be...none of us are perfect and never will be , most of us plod away and get there eventually, sometimes we need to push ourselves a little and that can be hard ...just do what you can and be happy you can do anything cause some people can't .!!!

  2. OOPS forgot the important bit...
    I LOVE YOU..