March 28, 2011

just to update...

Well BIG changes are afoot in my world.

My Husband and I have separated, this was my choice.
Everyone keeps asking me if I am ok, and you know, I am...

I had my first night alone on Saturday and was a little lost... I hadn't had a full night alone in well I don't know how long...

I struggled with my breasts, which got rather huge and sore a few times, I am still feeding my 22mo daughter.
She however didn't struggle at all but as soon as she walked in the door sunday afternoon her words were "I want boobie" <3

So many things to organise and arrange/rearrange so that everything fits into it's place...

March 1, 2011

New month. New Inspiration.

Finding my way.

It is infinitely more difficult to find your own way in life when you have children attached.
Finding time to do anything for yourself is, well, damned hard!
You just settle into a 'job' that needs doing and you get interrupted time after time, sometimes with things as simple as "'rink" or as difficult as "omg, child, you stink!!!!"
Then there is the occasion that you stop for a moment to listen, and hear nothing... you wonder whether to go and find out or not, then you do just to be sure. On the good occasion you find them playing happily together (or alone) and breathe a sigh of relief. On the other hand it is just as likely you will find that they have found something wonderful to play with (like your sister's unopened chemistry set), and given that you already told them that they where not to touch xyz, you lose your temper, and ensues uncontrollable screaming, both from you and the child who really doesn't understand what they did wrong.

So it was today, that I found my groove and wanted to get this job done! And said chemistry set was on the mind of middle kidlet! I lost it, he lost it, screaming ensued. What did we get out of it? Well 3 very upset people! He was upset because I said, (or rather yelled) "No, that is not for you, it is not safe." I was upset because he was doing something that he shouldn't have had access to, and it was my failing that allowed it all to happen, and the baby kidlet was upset because well, when you are surrounded by screaming, crying upset people, you seem to feel upset too. So after a good dose of drinks, food, some quite boobies and calming down time.... I set back to work doing what I started, and when I was interrupted, I STOPPED what I was doing, paid attention to my kidlets, sorted out their needs and then went about my job again.

Miraculously I finished in record time, and I have been sitting here typing this post out and have had *no* interruptions. I feel like I have accomplished at least something today, which has inspired me to get more done.

Dare I say it, I think I need a list!