Wow, happy Blogiversary? (and 3 days)

So it seems that I started this Blog 2 years (and 3 days) ago!!

EDIT: This time frame is sooo wrong! I can't for the life of me figure out how I managed to stuff it up this badly! I blame Blogger for not showing me all the posts on the day I wrote this!

I really don't care that much about when, it is the why that is more important! and really, at the moment I am not even sure that matters!

I had plans of my blog becoming ever popular, having tutorials for sewing, recipes for cooking, continuous updates of family life on the Farm that we purchased and moved to not a year before I started it.

Now it is 2 years on coming up to our 4th Christmas in our Life Long Home, and I am realising just how much I haven't done, and not so much of what I have done!

How much life has moved on and changed and grown, and just how much I seem to be the same!

I don't like it.  I don't know what to do to change it.  Maybe I am just the way I am meant to be?

I find myself wanting to say things, but lacking the articulation to make my argument.

I struggle with the idea of getting paid work, actually I struggle with the idea of work altogether!
I got excited recently about a potential job to get me back into the work force, and sorted everything out that needed doing, full medical and drug testing, only to be turned away because I have an allergy to Codeine! I have taken it before quite a few times and have never reacted badly to it.  But a definitive scratch test has told me I am allergic and not just a little, but quite severely.

Holding faith in the universe that things are as they should be is becoming increasingly hard for me.

Figuring out what my next step is, even harder than that!  Time to sit back and concentrate on making this Christmas season (that I just don't want to happen, let alone find excitement for the sake of the children) one of the best my children have had!
And I need to start by taking charge of the absolute horror that is my house at the moment.

*sigh*